Welcome back, Plotheads. It’s time to psychoanalyze ourselves using fictional men.
Because if we’re going to be delusional, we’re at least going to be structured about it. Today we’re breaking down what your chosen book husband says about your personality, your reading taste, and your tolerance for emotional chaos.
Let’s begin. Deep breaths. Deep denial. Deep character analysis.
1. The Golden Danger — Kai Azer (Powerless)
You fell for the slow-burn prince with dangerous hands and a molten heart. Kai girls want intense romance, soul-deep loyalty, and someone who would absolutely throw a kingdom into flames if you asked nicely.
What it says about you:
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You’re a romantic, but you like your romance with spice and peril.
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You love being protected, but only if it’s done with quiet, jaw-clenched devotion.
You crave tension. You yearn for eye contact, accidental touches, the whole cinematic build-up.
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You don’t want easy love. You want meaningful love.
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And yes, you think you could get him to take the gloves off “just for you.”
You love your fictional husbands intense, loyal, slightly unhinged, and deeply repressed. Valid.
2. The Charming Menace —
Kitt Azer (Powerless)
Your husband is smart, smug, morally gray, and fully capable of flirting and threatening at the same time. Kitt girls thrive on banter that could double as foreplay.
What it says about you:
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You’re witty, clever, and a tiny bit chaotic.
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You love the challenge, the verbal sparring, the teasing, the “we hate each other but not really.”
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You like your love interests mischievous, unpredictable, and obsessed with you against their will.
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You believe romance should spark, not simmer.
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You live for a man who smirks.
Kitt is your husband because you like men who bite back. Emotionally. And sometimes verbally.
3. The Brooding Bad Boy — Cardan Greenbriar (The Cruel Prince)
You picked the faerie prince with expensive cheekbones, trauma, issues, and a superiority complex. Cardan girls know the allure of a beautiful disaster.
What it says about you:
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You love enemies-to-lovers with all your heart.
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You scream over every petty, jealous, dramatic moment.
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You believe love should be iconic and slightly catastrophic.
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You enjoy watching a disaster man become soft for one person.
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You are not afraid of angst. In fact, you thrive on it.
Cardan lovers know what they’re about: tension, drama, and decorative horns.
4. The Soft Cinnamon Roll — Peeta Mellark (The Hunger Games)
Your husband bakes, loves you gently, and would absolutely die for you while smiling warmly. Peeta girls appreciate being cherished.
What it says about you:
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You crave emotional safety and soft love.
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You value kindness over bravado.
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You’re the “I want peace, but I’ll still fight for it” type.
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You melt for gentle hands and thoughtful gestures.
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You believe the strongest men don’t need to roar.
You love men who love deeply, consistently, and without hesitation. And you deserve that.
5. The Dark Strategist — Kaz Brekker (Six of Crows)
You chose the trauma riddled criminal mastermind with a cane, gloves, and a brain sharper than his knives. Kaz girls are a special breed.
What it says about you:
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You like complicated men. Emotionally and morally.
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You believe vulnerability is a reward earned slowly.
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You have zero fear of commitment (as long as it’s fictional).
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You’re patient, intuitive, and drawn to depth.
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You want a man who can outsmart a whole city but still falls apart (quietly) for you.
Kaz girlies don’t want easy. They want layered, brilliant, slightly feral love.
6. The Golden Retriever Hero — Nikolai Lantsov (Shadow and Bone)
Your man is charming, heroic, funny, and has no business being that attractive while making jokes.
What it says about you:
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You love joy in your romance.
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You want someone who makes you laugh, not cry (at least not often).
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You adore flirty banter and big energy.
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You have a type: charismatic disaster with a heart of gold.
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You want romance that feels like sunshine.
Nikolai girls love hope, humor, and heroes who show up, even when everything is falling apart.
7. The Shadowed Softie — Azriel (ACOTAR)
You fell for the quiet, brooding, emotionally tender warrior who hides behind shadows.
What it says about you:
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You love subtlety, the quiet glances, the whispered care.
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You adore the “I watch from afar but love deeply” trope.
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You want the man who is dangerous to everyone but gentle with you.
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You crave intimate, emotionally intelligent romance.
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You believe love is shown, not shouted.
Azriel lovers want depth, softness, and slow, meaningful connection.
8. The Scholar Sweetheart — Gansey (The Raven Cycle)
Your man is soft academia meets golden leadership.
What it says about you:
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You’re thoughtful, introspective, and a little whimsical.
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You want someone who loves with intention.
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You melt for passion, in any form, especially intellectual.
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You’re drawn to warmhearted, kind, steady characters.
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You love romance that feels like a sunrise.
Gansey lovers appreciate emotional nourishment and quiet devotion.
✨ Final Thoughts (aka: We Are All a Little Unwell) ✨
Your book husband says nothing about your real-life standards… and everything about your fictional taste.
Whether you love the dangerous prince, the charming menace, the sweet cinnamon roll, or the brooding mastermind, one thing is universal:
Book husbands are a personality trait. And we support that.
Now tell me, Plotheads:
Who’s your book husband and do you want a part two?
Stay twisty, stay curious, and keep turning those pages!
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